Tuesday, June 17, 2008

More Q & A

Q: Why were the balloons you released at the Celebration of Life service black, white and yellow?
A: Jacob loved black and white....he would lay under his boppy that had a zebra print arch over it and just stare for long amounts of time. He loved the contrast of black and white or light and dark. Jonathan always said that "yellow is Jacob's favorite color" so there you have yellow, black and white.

Q: Why did you name him Jacob?
A: I didn't. Joshua did. We had been told for a few weeks that he was a girl. So we had "her" name picked out. Turns out we just had a lazy tech who couldn't be bothered with silly things like reproductive organs! On October 3rd, I not only found out about Jacob's heart condition but we also found out he was a boy...different tech. That night, I told the boys we needed a name for our little man and Joshua just blurted out, "I want to call him Jacob." so we did. It is funny because Joshua's name was almost Jacob.

Q: What are we going to do with Jacob's remains?
A: First thing we are going to do is get them in the same urn!....when he was cremated, the boys had some things they wanted with him and the ashes left were too many for the urn they had offered so they put his remains in 2. The funeral home didn't have the next size so Saturday we are doing catalog shopping for an appropriate size urn....I bet that's not on your "to-do"list. Then what are we going to do with them? Keep them here with us right now. We had his body cremated because I just couldn't stand the thought of his sweet tiny body being alone, in the ground, cold and yucky.....I just have this sad picture in my mind of him in the ground and it just would drive me crazy to have him there and not be able to rub his fuzzy hair, touch his perfect nose, hold his beautiful hand or touch his "pea-pod perfect" toes. And the thought of us moving and leaving him here just didn't settle well with me either. Both options suck....bury or burn. I know it is just his body but I just couldn't commit to anything. So, we decided to cremate and keep the remains here with us until we can figure out what to do. A few thoughts are for them to be buried when another member of the family passes or add his remains to the cremated remains of Jason or me. We are just not there yet. Lovely subject.

Q: Karen, are you going to get a tattoo too?
A: Probably. I just have a lot of ideas....I don't want to come out of the tattoo parlor with no natural skin left. I want his footprint somewhere that others will see it and ask.....Jacob drew people to himself and they just asked. But Jason said I can't do it on my forehead j/k. A dear new friend of mine has her baby girl's foot print tattooed on top of her foot.....I really like that....My friend would have to give me permission to steal her marvelous idea. I also have tossed around "138 days" "Psalm 27:14" and "sunshines" since I sang "You are my sunshine" to him and my other boys....maybe later for that....right now it's about Jacob. We shall see. It's tough deciding what you want on your body for life....Jacob has already given me a scar I am honored to wear on my tummy but I want something for others to see and ask....not many will see that tummy scar....believe me, it's for your own safety. I'll let you know if I do get something.


Cathy said...

thinking of you and your family so often. still come daily to Jacob's place (blog)! Prayers to your family, Cathy & Annabel

Anonymous said...

Its none of my business what you do with your sweet baby's ashes, but have you ever heard of Lifegems? They take some of the ashes and extract the carbon and actually make a diamond. It is pricey, but would be a great way to always have Jacob with you.

Anonymous said...


I love the footprint idea. I know which mom you are talking about and it is so awesome the way she had that put on her foot. I think you should ask her if she minds. Thanks as always for sharing with us and answering questions.

Love from CA,

Emily said...

Oooh yeah! Get a baby Jacob footprint on your foot! I HIGHLY recommend it. :) Mine's pink. I'll show you! Wonder what blue would like??

Sorry you're doing the shopping you're doing... don't you love it when people say they're sorry and you don't know how to reply because it's not their fault? You know what I mean.

Praying for you today, awesome mama of three!

sumi said...

I love Emily's tattoo (what I can see from it on her blog's header) and I'd copy her if I were you. :-)

Yeah, all the 'shopping' and decisions suck. Hubby wanted to bury Jenna, I wanted to cremate her because I couldn't bear the thought of her in the ground either. Hubby won, but I don't regret it. It is nice to have a patch of earth that belongs to Jenna alone.

It's only when we move...and we know we won't live here forever. We'll cross that bridge when we get there.

Many hugs for today,