Monday, August 23, 2010

Brown Shirt Mama Reunion

I have tried, ladies and gentlemen....I have tried to write about this weekend....I can't do it. I haven't the time, the energy, or the words to do it! There was just too much that I have no idea where to begin...I tried to begin from when I booked the tickets, then from when I got on the plane, then from when Kenzie greeted me at the door....nothing flows...nothing does it justice. Here's a few details: I was embraced by my mama friends from
Atlanta, met a new one and her baby boy who was so lovely and encouraging, loved on all the babies I could, swam and played, cried tears when each one of those babies were held in my arms, stayed up LATE, was challenged and encouraged....but above all, I stood in awe of God's amazing plan for me and these ladies. It was great. It was a miracle weekend. It was perfect.

Here are a few pics since I have so few words.

My amazing little flier. He was so good....minus poking the people we sat next to...good thing God gave him those beautiful blue eyes and prominent dimples!

Our amazing hostess and baby girl. Kim and her family were amazing hosts and just really one of the sweetest families to be around. It was a blessing to be welcoming into their home.

Kim's chalkboard, all ready for the weekend...she didn't miss a thing!...except for sour cream ;)

Mamas laughed hysterically as these babies found no humor in it!

The counters were always full of cups and.....

.......electronic devices!

I got to spoil the ones that weren't mine!...that is a chip that has been dipped 4 times! :)

Pool chaos!

The last to leave :(

One of the pics I have been waiting 2 years to get....while our babies walk with Jesus, us mamas have walked together here on earth, missing our precious babies and remembering and honoring them the best we can. Those two little footprints began such an amazing work of God ...and if it weren't for either of them, I would have never stepped foot on a plane to get to Atlanta or this weekend.

Bribed with lollipops...whatever works, right?


Drum roll please....and THE picture we've all been waited for.........

One of the most precious pictures I have ever been honored to be in.
Us 8 Atlanta/Brown Shirt Mamas (beaming!) and our "babies after".

Saturday, August 21, 2010

"Happy Birthday, Jeremiah" ~ Love Jacob Ryan

One Year! I know I am not there to sing to you, to blow out your candles before you could, to unwrap your presents before it is time, to play with all your gifts with you…but, Baby Brother, I have given you so many gifts this last year.

I gave you two big brothers who kiss on you and hug on you and cherish their time with you because they know what it s to make the most of their time with their baby brothers.

I gave you a mother who now sits and breathes your breath, who listens intently to your sighs, who holds you a little bit longer because she knows what it is to never hold again.

I gave you a daddy who praises and thanks God everyday for what he has and what he has been given because of what God taught him through my life.

I gave you a family who now realizes how significant celebrating every day is, let alone an entire year of life.

You are loved in such a special way, because God used me as a gift to you.

Happy Birthday, Baby Brother. You are loved and cherished,

Your Big Brother ~ Jacob Ryan

~Your Big Brother ~

~Jacob Ryan~

Thursday, August 12, 2010

"Children of Promise"

To try and put to words the emotions and the comfort and the beauty of last's tough. So here is a glimpse of something miraculous God did. This is just a piece of what God has done for us mama's....He totally did not have to do this but He loves us so much that He has been working on this amazing gift for over a year now. This gift is proof of how God has had this meeting of us mamas planned out with perfection. Angie Luce, mother of Poppy Joy, wrote these words on her blog back on April 23rd, 2008.


Children of Promise

I recently started running again, and I was quickly reminded that it is a form of exercise I like in theory more than reality. It's a love/hate relationship because I truly do like it when I'm good at it, but right now, being a year out of practice, I stink. I'm trying to push through, and I've set a goal to work my way back up to a 5K hopefully by next month.

I think one of the reasons I'm struggling right now is the boredom factor. I run outside with no iPod or music entertainment of any sort, making it incredibly easy to focus on the shortness of breath and pain in my side rather than anything positive. But the other day something broke through the tedium. It wasn't a vision, but it was something I envisioned as clearly as if I was seeing a photograph in front of me. It was like all of the sudden I had this image of babies and children outside on a blanket, bunched together for a photo shoot. They didn't look at all alike, but every one of them was smiling. As the picture floated in my head, I felt God telling me, "These are the children of promise."

I remember years ago on the first anniversary of September 11th seeing a magazine with a front cover spread of the babies who had been born after that date. I remember thinking they were a dual symbol of grief and hope. They were reminders of so much that was lost, yet they were also beautiful pictures of life after the tragedy. "I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living." Psalm 27:13

This is the closest thing I can think of to compare what I saw. The picture had so many kids, and one of them was mine-the baby we haven't yet adopted, but who we know God has already chosen for us. The others were the children of my friends who walked this road with me. The kids didn't know it, but what they all shared in common was the fact that they all had a brother or sister in heaven who they would never know. They had no idea how special they were; they had no idea that they were the children of God's promise.

I doubt that photograph will ever be taken physically, but I feel the truth of the image is certain. I don't know when or how, but I believe that God will provide for each of us, in His perfect way, and in His flawless timing. That does not mean the road will be all sunshine from this moment on. God hasn't promised that. But He has promised in Psalm 30:5 that "Weeping may last for the night, but
a shout of joy comes in the morning." I've already experienced this shout of joy in many ways, but I don't think it is complete. God has put on my heart the desire for another child, and I believe He wants to fulfill this in my life. I'm looking forward to seeing His promise play out, one beautiful child at a time.

Here it is, my dear friends. Here is one of the most precious sights God has given us mamas. This picture was taken August 7th, 2010. So it may not be what Angie saw to perfection, but it is close enough to give me chills and goose-bumps. Angie's adopted baby girl sits in the back with the bright blond hair and blue bow. I am so thankful for God using Angie, this weekend, and all our babies for this precious gift. May this fill your heart with true hope from our Heavenly Father. This is our "shout of joy!" Praise God!

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

And We're Back....

I know, I know, I know.....I said I was coming back here soon to update you on things. Well, life just has been so busy with a toddler and two older boys that my time to even check email is few and far between! Like I have said before, I don't mind this life but I do miss updating everyone on things and getting your encouragement! Here is an 11 month picture of Jeremiah....yes he will be one year old on the 15th of this month!!!!
He walked across the living room on my birthday (6/1) so he has been keeping us so busy. He is such a joy and loves his family and we all adore him.

In March, I had a great opportunity to meet up with two of my dear "Atlanta Girls" and just this last month yet may or may not remember my trip to Atlanta 4 weeks after Jacob died....I met 7 other mothers who had experienced a loss of a child that same year and we all met up at Deeper Still in Atlanta (here's a refresher: as well as the previous post to this one).

Pic taken with my Atlanta Girls in 2008

These Mamas have meant so much to me over the last two years...meeting up with them and seeing our miracles on earth play together makes my heart jump with praise for My Saviour who holds my Baby Boy in His arms and who He used to bring these precious people into my life!

Here are a few shots of me with my mama girls and Jeremiah with his buddies....
Kenzie & Faith Clare, Me & Jeremiah, Kim & AnnaGrace Pearl

3 precious miracles

Jeremiah with a few of his ladies...they just swarm to him :)

Jeremiah & Hope Bolte "sharing"

Welllllll....I tell you this because the 8 of us will be meeting again! This time not just us 8 mamas but us mamas AND our miracle babies since our losses!!!!!!! Yes, each of us have birthed or adopted a baby since our losses and we are all meeting. I tell you this in hopes to excite your hearts of this amazing event!!! As I prepare for this trip, I just cannot believe where we all are in two years and just the thought of laying eyes on all those mama AND all those babies just brings tears to my eyes....I cannot believe what I am going to experience. Please...please...PLEASE be in prayer for this weekend....we all come from different parts of the USA and are traveling all different methods and times. But mostly, be in prayer that God's Spirit will just overwhelm us and bring us to praise and worship the One who created us and our precious children. I am so excited and I just cannot wait to see what God has in store for this weekend! Thank you all and I WILL update I am sure the others will as well!