Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Day 17

Today I went to see my doctor again! The doctors have told Mommy and Daddy that since I have complex congenital heart disease (double outlet right ventricle/transposition of the great arteries/vsd) that I might start to have heart failure as early as 2 weeks. I guess this means that I could get liquid in my lungs and it would be hard to breathe. But my doctor said everything looks good today! He said that my liver isn't enlarged (nothing on my body is large!), and that's a good sign! I currently weigh 3 pounds 13 ounces - up 1 ounce from last week - but at least I'm not losing! Doc told Mommy and Daddy to feed me more. Amen doc! My eyes are a little red and doc gave me some yucky medicine that makes my eyes all goopy just like when I was first born.
I made my first visit to Gramma and Grampa's house today after the doctors appointment. I slept through most of it. I slept most of my day away.

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Day 16

Today at 4:30 AM I decided to get Mommy up to change my diaper ... three times... and we ended up falling asleep on the floor together. Aunt Melly and Papa came by to say their goodbyes... they had to fly back to Texas today. Auntie Juli came to say goodbye too.. she cried lots because she's going back to Florida.
Pastor Jon and Amy came by to see me and bring us dinner. Ms. Amy stole one of my new diapers! She said she was going to show everyone because it was smaller than her camera! Mom's friend Judy from Delaware sent us homemade outfits - so me and my brothers all dressed up like cowboys! It's the first time that any clothes were a little too small for me - they were designed for a 15" doll! The pants fit great - they're just like my big brothers' - the shirt was just a wee too small though... Mommy got on the phone with Ms. Judy to make corrections for future outfits!

Thanks Be To God

Some people have contacted us and inquired about how they could help support our family financially and if they could do so online. Until today it wasn't possible. Thanks to God who brought us an old friend who is also the webmaster for Simplified Building and now we have the capability to accept online donations through PayPal (the link can be found on the bottom of both the sidebar and this page). I hesitate to even offer this as we prefer to communicate with each of you individually but I understand that some have no other way to give and some prefer to give anonymously. Please only give as God directs you. Thank you.

Monday, January 28, 2008

Day 15

Happy 2 week birthday to me! To prove that I'm becoming a big boy... my umbilical cord came off today! I officially have a belly button!
Aunt Melly and Papa spent the whole day with me today. Joshua and Jonathan tried to distract them by showing them how to play Star Wars... but I know that they were wanting to play with me too!
Aunt Juli, Gramma, Grampa and Buscia came over for my 2 week birthday party. We had pizza and wings and lots of birthday cake and balloons! I tried to sleep through the party but woke up a little when everyone was playing duck duck goose! My brothes can be so loud sometime... I'm glad I don't share a room with them!

Jacob’s Lesson on Humility

Karen and I used to watch Extreme House Makeover on a weekly basis. Karen would always say, “It’s amazing what they do, but I never want them to come to my house…. that means something terrible has happened in your life.” Have you ever watched that show and felt somewhat jealous? I’ll admit it… I have. Who doesn’t want a 52” flat screen TV in every room of a fabulous new home? This past week has shown me that not only would I never want something like that, but that I couldn’t handle it either.
Jacob has taught me a lesson this week about pride. I’ve always been a do it yourselfer – the kind of person who would do everything himself because he doesn’t feel he can rely on anyone else to do it right. Sure I trust in God…. But mostly God working through me to provide for our family and take care of our needs! Early on we decided that I would stay home with our family during the unknown limited amount of time that we have with Jacob. By doing so, we eliminated the one source of income our family survives on. This is where God used Jacob to not only teach me more about humility but also to show us Who the true provider for our family is.
We’ve been truly amazed and blessed by the amount of people who understand our situation and have called, stopped by or contacted us and let us know that they want to be involved in Jacob’s time here on earth. We’ve had two different photographers volunteer their services to come to the house for photo shoots with Jacob and our family (some of which you can see on the new blog that Jacob has setup - found at the bottom of this email – absolutely beautiful!). Our church family has frequently visited our home with gifts, cards, prayers and meals. Churches from around the area and our previous homes have contacted us and provided support. Family members and friends have flown in from Texas and Florida and driven in from Rochester and Binghamton to spend time with our little guy. Karen’s home schooling group has started taking a collection to help with expenses and has volunteered to help with meals for the next month! And even the people at GEICO, when they found out about Jacob, organized and opened an account for people to donate to and also setup fundraising bake sales to help support our family!
As a “self-sufficient” person, one of the hardest things for me to do was to walk into the GEICO credit union to fill out some papers so that people could give me money. Heading home from that experience I started to realize that humility is best understood when you have nothing else but God to rely on. It is in this experience that I more fully understood how the body of Christ works. In order for some to use their gifts, others must have needs. As a youth pastor I was used to focusing on using my gifts to meet other’s needs. This time around, God made us have need so that others could come along side and minister to us.
1 Corinthians 12:12-27 “The body is a unit, though it is made up of many parts; and though all its parts are many, they form one body. So it is with Christ…Now the body is not made up of one part but of many. If the foot should say, ‘Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,’ it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. And if the ear should say, ‘Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,’ it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? But in fact God has arranged the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. If they were all one part, where would the body be? As it is, there are many parts, but one body. The eye cannot say to the hand, ‘I don't need you!’ And the head cannot say to the feet, ‘I don't need you!’ On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor. And the parts that are unpresentable are treated with special modesty, while our presentable parts need no special treatment. But God has combined the members of the body and has given greater honor to the parts that lacked it, so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it. Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it.”
It is only with this understanding that we can rejoice in our hour of pain and need, because we can see that it provides opportunity for God to be glorified through the use of the gifts that He has given to others. James 1:17 says, “Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.”
Of course, being the prideful person that I am, I’m already trying to think of ways to repay all the kindness that we have received. The truth is that there is no way that I could ever even know, much less return, the hours of prayer, concern, service, and love that each of you has invested into our family’s lives. It must remain a gift.
The truth is I’m probably not much different than so many of us. When it comes to spiritual things we all try to be do-it-yourselfers at times. Instead of acknowledging our need and allowing Jesus to meet that need, we attempt to figure it out on our own because we refuse to swallow our pride. We know that Ephesians 2:8-9 says, “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast” and yet we think we can earn or deserve God’s love. Other times we think, “God has done so much for me, I must in return do so much for Him,” and we attempt to pay back God’s gift of mercy and grace with imperfect sacrifices that don’t come near to adequately understanding the gift He has given to us.
Jacob has taught me this week to be humble enough to recognize when I have a need and to allow God to meet that need through His provision. Our prayer for you is that God give you the wisdom to recognize where you have a need and the humility to allow Him to meet that need through His Son.

"God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble." (James 4:6)

May God Bless You As You Seek Him
The Fahmers – Jason, Karen, Joshua, Jonathan and Jacob

Sunday, January 27, 2008

Day 14

Daddy got up early with me today and we sat and talked for a while. Then Joshua and Jonathan woke up and came out to talk to me. Mommy was sleepy from being up with me during the night. Nana, Papa and Aunt Melly from Texas came back this morning and we spent a lot of awake time together. Joshua and Jonathan get so excited when Nana and Papa are around - they like to run around and act crazy!
Mommy's uncle Joe and Aunt Cindy came and visited for a while and then Gramma, Grampa and aunt Julie came out for dinner. I spent a lot of time on the floor talking to Gramma and Grampa - they were amazed at how awake I was - they don't know what I'm like at 3 in the morning!
Nana has to fly back to Texas tomorrow... I sure am going to miss her.

Day 13

Today I had another photo shoot with a different photographer named Jenn! Same story. Pictures with mommy. Pictures with daddy. Pictures with Joshua. Pictures with Jonathan. Pictures with clothes. Pictures without clothes. How EXHAUSTING! Pastor Bruce and Terri came to visit with me again this morning. I like it when they pray for me!
Papa and aunt Melly flew in from Texas today. It sure was nice to meet them. Everybody keeps remarking on how much I've grown and filled out and how much more I'm talking and moving around. I just want to play with my brother's Transformers!

Friday, January 25, 2008

Day 11

Today Jenn came over with her camera and we took lots of pictures. Pictures with mommy. Pictures with daddy. Pictures with Nana. Pictures with Joshua. Pictures with Jonathan. Pictures by myself. Pictures with teddy bears. Pictures with giraffes. Pictures of my head. Pictures of my feet. Pictures of me with no clothes. Pictures of me with clothes. How EXHAUSTING! Check out my sweet pics along the side panel! Jenn did a great job!
Mommy's friend Sara the doctor came over so I decided I would show her what I can do... make her earn her money... so I stopped breathing a little so that my oxygen levels would drop real low. I freaked everybody out! It was great! You should have seen all of their faces!
Mommy's cousins Jill and Lou came over with their baby Emily for dinner tonight. My brothers love playing with other little kids! Later on Kathryn stopped by to see me - I tried to get her to cry but she did a great job holding it all in. Daddy's friend Rob stopped by unexpected and shook me up until I puked. I'm not sure I like that guy anymore!

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Day 10

I went on my first car ride today since the drive home from the hospital. Mommy, daddy and I went to visit my doctor! They made me get all naked and stretched me out to see how long I was and how much I weighed (3 lbs. 12 oz) and looked me over a couple of times and then told me to come back next week. Note: I'm not losing my touch... I even made the doctor get teary-eyed!
Aunt Juli flew in from Florida today. I got to hang out with her and aunt Nancy and my brothers a lot! The Murphy's brought us dinner tonight and I got to meet a boy with the same name as mine!
My new favoritest thing in the whole world: Mommy gave me a sponge bath tonight for the first time and I LOVE GETTING MY HAIR WASHED! It is the best feeling in the whole world! It makes my eyes roll back into my head!

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Day 9

Mommy, daddy and aunt Nancy took turns staying up with me last night since they didn't have any machines to plug me into. I gave aunt Nancy a run for her money by showing her how well my digestive system works between 3am-6am!
A nurse came to check me out at home and daddy's friend Milf drove in from Rochester to see me. I finally got my machine tonight... the man who delivered it got lost in all the snow outside! Unfortunately for me that means I have to have something stuck on my foot from now on - as if this tube down my throat isn't bad enough! Man I wish they made bottles small enough to fit into my mouth!
My big brother Jonathan's sunday school teacher came to visit me tonight. She brought me a robe that she hand made special for me... it's as small as they come... but still a little big for me. That's ok I'll grow into it!

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Day 8

I'm new to this whole memory thing so forgive me if I forgot to mention all the other visitors I had in the hospital:
Pastor Jon
Mommy's cousin Jill
Andrea and Buscia
Uncle Mike, Suzy and Billy and Joseph
Momm's cousins Lisa and Jeff
Pastor Bruce and Terry
Deena and Steve
Amanda, Chrissy and Amy(s)

and 2 of my favorite nurses and 1 physicians assistant that helped me and mommy learn how to take care of me before coming home:
Ms. Amy
Ms. Erin
Ms. Sara A.
--- I wouldn't be home and happy at home if it weren't for the love and care you showed me and my family while I was still in the hospital - Thank You!

Monday, January 21, 2008

Update - Day 8

First of all, let us say "Thank You" to all the generous outpouring of love and support that we've received through this difficult time in our lives. All of your prayers, emails, cards, flowers, phone calls and visits have been so encouraging to all of us. It's wonderful to see all the caring people that God has put into our lives. Jacob celebrated his 1 week birthday today. Seeing as how he's beating the odds with just that little accomplishment we decided to throw him a birthday party. I'm sure Joshua and Jonathan will eventually question why he gets one every week and they have to wait a whole year for theirs! The best part was that we got to have the party at home! The hospital released us today, and after about an hour ride home through one of Buffalo's great snow storms in rush hour traffic, Jacob was able to see his home and be reunited with his brothers again! They were so excited! Each of them ran and got their favorite stuffed animals and put them in with Jacob in his crib… it was so precious! Joshua woke up this morning and sat by Jacob's cradle and loved on him and enjoyed him for over an is beautiful and of great encouragement that we have made the right decision to bring him home where he can be a part of a family who wants him to feel loved and cherished. We have all sorts of appointments set up for visiting nurses, pediatricians, cardiologists, and other support organizations over the next couple days/weeks…. But we're just glad to have him home! Please pray for wisdom and guidance as we select care options for Jacob and our family. Earlier this week I was discussing Jacob with a very close friend who also happens to be a pastor and he confessed to me that in contemplating our situation this past week and in praying for Jacob and our family he came to the realization that even he doesn't long for a time where there will be no more sin and death the way he should. When things are going well in life we become the typical American Christian and often times put God and His Kingdom on the backburner. Here's a man who has his Masters of Divinity, who has studied the Bible for years, who seeks God, who I look up to and respect, and God is refining him through the life of our 7 day old, 3 pound 9 ounce little Jacob! Awesome. Oftentimes we'll never know the reason for situations like Jacob - and this side of heaven I don't think we'll ever REALLY know and understand the full impact that this little guy has had on so many lives. However, when I think of my conversation with my friend, I can't help but think that God is using Jacob in some of your lives as well – and thus we are privileged to have played a part in that experience even if it ends up in sorrow or suffering in our own. Our prayer is that Jacob's life is not in vain and that God draws you closer to Himself through this time. Each one of us can find areas where we fall short and God is reminding us through Jacob that this world is not perfect – it has been warped by man choosing his own desires over God's. Thankfully God sent us His Son, Jesus Christ, to offer us the free gift of eternal life if we would simply believe. Someday God will remove sin and death and all the ugliness that they create and until that day we should be about His business. "And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, 'Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.'" (Revelation 21:3-4)

Day 7

Today was a busy day for visitors. Gramma came with her friend Bonnie. Mommy's uncle Joe and aunt Cindy came with her cousins Derrick and Michelle. Mommy's uncle Rick and aunt Diane came. Mommy and daddy's friends Dolly, Jeff and Teri came... and you know I'm something special when Ms. Teri came to see me during a hockey game earlier in the week and during the NFL conference championships today! Ms. Teri brought me a quilt that her mommy made me and Ms. Dolly brought me a blankie that she made special just for me! Nana flew in from Texas today... she had to fly all over the country to get here but she finally did and she couldn't get enough of me!

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Day 6

Mommy was back first thing in the morning... I guess home isn't that great after all. I don't think she slept very well at home without me. She said that she's going to stay with me the next couple of nights until I get to go home.
Mommy and Daddy's best friends, Derrick and Nicole, drove all the way from Binghamton to see me today. They had to leave their little baby girl for the first time... but they got to see me!
Grampa came today and he brought me a teddy bear! My brothers told me that he would do that since he bought each of them a special bear when they were babies too!
Aunt Nancy was here today too! She's been helping out with Joshua and Jonathan a lot but today was MY day!

Saturday, January 19, 2008

Day 5

Today's visitors: Mommy's friend Sue
Mommy and Daddy's friends Rob and Tami (the one with the baby in her belly!) again
Aunt Josie & Uncle Tony and Uncle Mark - Aunt Josie pretty much hogged me the whole time - I don't think either of my uncles got to hold me at all!
Of course Gramma is here like everyday...

Today's most exciting event: They moved me out of my greenhouse and into a big boy crib! (Almost as exciting as when Ms. Blayre came back to visit me for a few minutes)

Thing I most regret about today: The nurses can't seem to find me any hats that fit my head that don't have pink or purple in them!

Dr. Reynolds came in to talk to mommy and daddy about possibly sending me home on Monday. Everyone here treats me so good, I'm not sure that I want to go home. Mommy was discharged from the hospital today and went home tonight to try and get some sleep.... but she left me with Ms. Johnine who has been fighting to be my nurse for like a week! She was so excited to be my nurse that she and Ms. Rebecca woke me up and gave me a "makeover" - they changed my clothes, cleaned me up and took lots of pictures of me. Then they printed them out and made a really cute poster for my bed. Mom and Dad are going to be so surprised!

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Pain in the Offering

Hello Friends, As many of you know Karen went in to have Jacob on Monday. After attempting to induce her the doctors ended up taking Jacob out by C-Section at 6:04 pm. On Tuesday morning we met with the geneticist who advised us that he believed that Jacob has a genetic disorder known as Trisomy 18. This disorder is found in about 1 in 3000 live births and is the second most common genetic disease behind Down's Syndrome. After waiting for blood tests for the past 48 hours, today it was confirmed that Jacob does in fact have this disorder. This disorder is the cause of all the other problems that we were already aware of with Jacob (ie. his congenital heart disease and his low birth weight). 50% of all babies born with Trisomy 18 die within the first week. Another 25% die with in the first month and almost 95% die within the first year. As you can imagine this has proved very difficult and emotional for us as we attempt to process it for ourselves, for our precious Joshua and Jonathan, for our family and even our friends. We chose not to let most know until today when we had confirmation from the blood test. We continue to value your prayers for our family and our precious little Jacob as we make decisions on whether or not to bring him home and how to care for him. Throughout this we remember that God is the Author and Giver of life and that we are here on this earth to glorify Him. Jacob has already been such a great blessing to us and to many others and it has been amazing to see how he has impacted the lives of so many through the past nine months. The Bible states, "For You created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from You when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, Your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in Your book before one of them came to be. How precious to me are Your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand. When I awake, I am still with You" (Psalm 139:13-18). God knew every detail of Jacob's little body before we even knew we were pregnant and also knows all the days he will share with us here on this earth. And while this is a time that many would ask "Why?" we remain steadfast in the knowledge that God loves us and knows what is best for us. "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." (Jeremiah 29:11) Romans 8 says, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose...What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. Who is he that condemns? Christ Jesus, who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written: 'For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.' No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord" (28,31-39). Please continue to pray for our new little one - that his time here on earth would be filled with love and comfort and free from pain. Please pray for our family as we celebrate his life. But above all please pray that God be glorified in all of our lives not only in the mountaintop experiences where everything is "as it should be" but also in the valleys and deserts of life marked with suffering. This Matt Redman song keeps playing through my head:
"Blessed Be Your Name
In the land that is plentiful
Where Your streams of abundance flow
Blessed be Your name
Blessed Be Your name
When I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed Be Your name
Every blessing You pour out I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name
Blessed be Your name
When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's 'all as it should be'
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be Your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be Your name
Every blessing You pour out I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name
You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to sayLord, blessed be Your name"
(- Matt Redman)
May our experience bring you closer to the Savior---
The Fahmer's (Jason, Karen, Joshua, Jonathan, and Jacob!)

Day 4

I was sad when Ms. Blayre left this morning but another nice lady named Jamie is taking care of me today. I heard people talking with mommy and daddy about taking the tubes out of my belly and my arm and that sure does make me happy!
Tom and Busia came by to see me today and mommy had to tell them about how God made me special. It made them cry too.
Ms. Jamie moved me off my warm bed into a new greenhouse isolette and moved me into a room all for myself. Now I don't have to listen to those loud neighbors I had in the Birch room!
Mommy's friend Stephanie came by and held me and so did mommy's uncle Tom and aunt Linda. Uncle Tom sure is big! But I could make even him cry. Mommy's uncle Joe and aunt Cindy and uncle Bob and aunt Arlene came by to hold me. Mommy's cousin Lisa came too! Mommy's friend Chrissy came to visit me again today!
Ms. Rebecca was my nurse tonight and she got to clean up after me when I pee'd all over my greenhouse.

Day 3

I think today they finally found some doll clothes for me to wear. Mom and Dad spent a lot of time holding me today. I really like that.
Pastor Joe and Tammy came to visit me and mommy today. There was another Tammy with them too.... that was kind of confusing... one had a baby in her belly... one didn't! Daddy's friends Rob, Dell and Jeff came and saw me real quick too.
Tonight Ms. Blayre came to take care of me. I REALLY like her. I look for her and listen to her voice almost as much as my daddy's. Everybody here is so nice to me!
Ms. Teri came to visit me tonight... she was little like me when she was born.
Daddy told me he was staying the night in the hospital tonight because they're going to find out big news about me tomorrow.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Day 2

Danielle left me this morning and a new nurse lady named Peggy came to take care of me. She's very nice too. Pastor Bruce came to see me this morning. Then a geneticist named Dr. Robinson came to visit me and mommy today. Dr. Robinson said that God made me special. Dr. Robinson took mommy and daddy away to a room to pray for me. Afterwards, Ms. Peggy took me down to a special room to spend some time with my family. Mommy and Daddy's eyes were aweful red... I think they had been crying. Gramma, Grampa brought my brothers Joshua and Jonathan into the room with them. I finally got to see those crazy guys that I heard so much of when I was in mommy's tummy! My big-big brother Joshua loved holding me and kept trying to get me off of mommy's, daddy's, gramma's and grandpa's lap and on to his. My big brother Jonathan liked holding me too... but only for a little while. I think I made him nervous. Jonathan's favorite part was pushing the buttons to silence my monitors when they went off! We spent a lot of time together and they kept flashing pictures in my eyes... so I decided it would be better to just go to sleep. I don't really like it when the nurses keep pricking my foot with a needle and squeezing my blood out, but mommy and daddy tell me it's just to make sure that I'm doing alright. Miss Danielle came back to take care of me tonight and she treats me awefully special.
Mommy's friends Amy and Amy came to see me.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Happy Birthday To Me!

I entered into the "outside world" at 6:04 pm today at Women and Children's Hospital. I weighed 3 pounds 14 ounces and was 17 inches long. I got to hang out with mom and dad for a little bit before being wisked away to a special nursery where a bunch of doctors and nurses scrubbed me down and poked and prodded me. Finally they put me on a warm bed to rest but they forgot to put any clothes on me! Hey! I'm naked! Daddy came and spent some time talking to me. I like to look for Daddy when I hear his voice (even when I'm sleepy!) Some lady cut my cord off and stuck some tubes in my belly. Ouch! Aunt Nancy and Uncle Kevin were the first ones at the hospital. Mommy finally got out of recovery and came down to see me too! Lucky for me I also have a nice nurse named Danielle to take care of me tonight!