I get these urges to scroll through the blog and look at pictures of Jacob and read some of what "he said." I haven't forgotten. I just miss him. As I look through the pictures, my chest hurts and I fight the tears. He was the sweetest baby ever. But compare the earlier posts to the later. Wow did he get big! It's all relative.
Yes he was small but he was a giant in so many ways. He grew up so much in those 138 days.
When he came home from the hospital he was just 3 pounds 9 ounces (he was born at 3 lbs. 14 oz). In his last month, he tangoed with 6 pounds.....that is a lot of growing.
Jacob's facial hair took a while to come in......no, not mustaches and stuff.....at birth and for a while after, he didn't have any eyebrows or eye lashes. They grew in gradually and he had quite a few long lashes as well as eye brows....long lashes run in our family...look at Joshua & Jonathan's lashes as well as Jason's!
He always had hair but it became more full and longer.
When we first brought him home, he was so fragile and his apnea and syanotic spells were frequent.....although he had them as he got bigger, the effect they had was less prominent.....he recovered just fine with the exception of day 120 and his final day, day 138.
He went from this pathetic teeny tiny cry that would last a moment to crying for 30 minutes straight while in his car seat!
He grew out of the super tiny diapers only the NICU had and regularly wore preemie size diapers and even wore size ones when he was poopin' up a storm. He would make my absolute favorite face....his eyes would cross, his lips would become an O and he would clench his fists and push them together (his 3 month pictures posted on April 15th when he is in his navy/gray striped outfit.....oh I love it).....he grew out of that face.....he no longer did it.
His fists were so tight when he came home that it hurt him when you stretched them out....he grew into allowing us to play with his tiny hands and massage them and just hold them.....he even held things once placed in his grip and relaxed his hands regularly.
When he came home, he was taking 27 mls (30 mls is an ounce) and, although he jumped around a bit with a few set backs around day 120, he was over 60 mls consistently for a while even getting in the 70s.
He went from being fed every 3 hours to being fed every 4 and at night he would sleep longer spouts (sometimes!).
Things he never grew out of: preemie outfits, being held, black and white toys, his toes would curl over your thumb tip if you put it on the bottom of his foot, his nose would scrunch up when I put mine to his, his Mother's touch, his Daddy's arms, his brother's love and his Heavenly Father's plans.
He was strong. He was big. He grew up. He has placed a giant stamp on this world and has stolen my heart. He is bigger than I can ever imagine being. He was so big, that he only needed 138 days to make his lifelong imprint. He not only grew, he towered and his shadow remains.
I just thank him for sticking around and trucking through this crazy sinful world, just to be loved for a while, grow up and become part of this family who is forever changed because of him.
He lived and grew. Not only do babies with Trisomy 18 grow, so do those around them. Trisomy 18 babies live. Trisomy 18 babies ARE compatible with life......they are the richest, most powerful, fullest lives I have ever seen. Moments are lifetimes. They are beautiful.