Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Mom to Mom

It has been over 3 months since my baby boy has passed. So much has happened. There hasn't been a single moment that I have felt as though our loss was for nothing. These past 3 months have been jam-packed with unbelievable experiences that just would not have happened without the blessing of Jacob. These past few weeks, I have been in personal contact with 14+ mothers who have experienced or anticipate a loss. Each one of those contacts are because of God using Jacob's life to bless another. I just rejoice! That sounds ridiculous to those of you who have no clue. I have been told that it is kind of strange the joy I have through all this.....almost bothersome.....call it strange, or call it bothersome......I call it the PEACE OF THE LORD! Others who know the Lord may grieve differently, but this is it for me....I will be positive, I will use my baby boy's life to help others, my home will be a happier place because of Jacob's life and death, my other sons will see the goodness of our Lord even in hard times....will I fail? Yep, already have....will I persevere.....with the Lord by my side, He will have the victory!...Satan will have no part of Jacob's life.

These contacts that I have made have blessed me so much. It is just conversation but it is conversation that cannot take place with just anyone....it is a conversation that has a comfort because on the line are two people who "get it." It may be talk about medical things or what we did at home with Jacob or decisions we had to make or what we thought about certain issues or what we did for his memorial service or how we arose at certain conclusions.....but it amazes me how I have no idea who these women are but yet we talk with such ease and understanding. Jacob's life and death have made it possible. I get to be there for other women.....a ministry that would not have been possible without that sweet blue eyed prince. If you are a mother who needs to talk to someone who "gets it" please contact me.....I have been blessed to speak with mothers touched by T18, mothers who have had "unexpected" losses before and after birth....I do not claim to know it all and although I have been there and I "get it" I still have no idea what to say, but Jacob's life is available for the Lord to use and I will do my best with Him as my guide. You can email me at babyjacobryan@gmail.com.

I know many of our blog fans have given up on us now with our lack of posting....thanks to all our faithful fans! Posting doesn't come as easy as it did before. There are a few good reasons: Joshua & Jonathan. I have been spending lots of time with them. My computer has seen a whole lot less of me and I like it this way....I miss all of you but in all honesty, you are all strangers (well most of you!) and 2 of 3 my boys are here and you all understand that. I have this amazing opportunity with 2 of them....it is an opportunity that only comes once and I am wanting to cherish it because not everyone (Jacob) has any left.....this opportunity is called "time." I am homeschooling them and loving the time it makes me put into them. So, I will continue to "grieve" here....this blog is entitled "The Life of Jacob Ryan Fahmer" and his life continues to touch others as it should. I will continue to share how his life touches others and continues to touch our family. I have decided to keep this blog true to it's title and keep our recent events here at home, here at home.....I may begin a new blog for the other boys but right now is not the time. I still have so much to share about all the Lord is doing in my life these past few weeks.....and I will right here on this blog.......but my computer time for now has expired.....

to be continued.....


M said...

We love you all and thank you for sharing Jacob with us. His life has absolute meaning and I can't wait to see more of the details of what has been brought to you. Praise God for those like you who are so willing to reach out and hold another's hand while going through such a difficult experience of losing a precious child. I am still checking in... still praying for you and your family!

Laurie said...

I love you Karen and I love your heart. What a blessing you are to these other mothers who need what you can provide through your own pain and sorrow and hope. Jacob started this ministry and trusted it to you to carry forward. I get how it makes you rejoice!!! How blessed you are to carry on his purpose, providing hope to others. Joshua and Jonathan are blessed to call you mom. I am praying for you in this journey and check on you every day, even if you haven't posted. I won't ever forget you or drop out of sight. You are family to me (even if I am a stranger). I pray that any mom needing a helping word will find their way to you. They will be blessed with HOPE. I love you Karen and continue walking with you in prayer.

Love, Laurie in Ca.

siscaboo said...

I can understand the weird joy you are talking about. I don't find that often but, when I do it is a pleasure to talk to someone. It is like a huge load is lifted for a minute. It is also refreshing not having to hide feelings. Yep, I understand completely.

Kathy said...

Beautiful, Karen!

You are a wise woman and wisdom comes from the Lord.

God bless you on your new adventures with your family and your ministry with mom's who need you to walk them through your shared journey.

All your boys are so blessed to have you.

Will check in once in a while to see how things are going. Thank you for sharing your amazing journey.

Prayers continue.


David, Wendy, Alaina, and Leo said...

I have been reading your blog for quite some time but I have never commented. I found your your through the Be Strong and Courageous blog and have kept reading because of your inspiring faith. I have a son that was born around the same time as Joshua was. I have been checking your website every day waiting for a post. You and your husband are such an inspiration. I have grown reading your posts. I know that you do not know me, but by reading your blog it feels like I know you and your family. Thank you for sharing you story!


The Sanchez Family said...

Still faithfully reading here in KY and loving every minute! It is good to hear that you all are cherishing each other!

Still praying for you and your family,

Beav's Wife said...

I still check on you guys almost every day. I'm so happy you are enjoying your sweet boys and that you're able to connect with the other mothers who are hurting. You are such a blessing to so many. I'm forever grateful to have 'met' you even though we're strangers. Jacob is so often on my mind. May God hold you in his loving arms and squeeze you tight. Love and prayers, Jenny

Sonja said...

You said it well. :) You and your family will forever be in my prayers. Your "new" ministry that God has instrusted to you through Jacobs life is what God has planned for you. You are obedient to our Lord and Savior, thus giving you the peace that surpasses ALL understanding. You are a child of God who has a lifetime to remember the joy of your "boys", all 3 of them. May God continue to bless you and others through you. I will continue my daily check in to see how you are doing.

Dolly said...

Hey Fahmers!
Isn't it just amazing how, if we allow Him to, God can and will and chooses to use these "disasters" in our lives to show his faithfulness and love for us?!
No I certainly cannot understand what it is like to lose a child or even to anticipate it, but I do know the joy that can come out of these "disasters" in our lives...it's definately our choice though...let satan take us over and destroy any hope of that joy, or let God in and all over our "disaster" furthering His kingdom, increasing our faith, and giving us the freedom to live for each moment we have here on this earth! I know God smiles upon you ministering to other mothers who would otherwise be alone during their "disaster."

Kath said...

Glad to hear from you! Thank you for sharing Jacobs story with us all!

Praying for all of you, and still checking in from the other side on an ocean!

Randi said...

Missing your sweet boys and crying, marvelling and giving thanks to God for strength.
Satan will have NO PART whatsoever with your son's life. Jesus is the one who has and is using your family to help bring people closer to Him. What a painful but glorious honor.
Randi Booth

Steve & Marie Douglas said...

Hi Karen Its Me, Marie Elijah's mommy. I had'nt been able to post you a comment because first we had no internet and then because as I'm sure you are probably aware My Elijah went home with Jesus about 1month after Jacob went home. I too have had moslty moments of sureal peace but lately I am experiencing angry emotions :( guess i just need to hold on tight as I fight to get passed hte anger. I never expected anger to come but boy it has just punched me in the heart so unexpectedly. I SO RELATE TO YOUR BLOG though!! GOD HAS A PURPOSE!! AND I TOO WANT TO DO ALL I CAN TO HONOR GOD THROUGHT THE LIFE AND DEATH OF MY SWEET LIJAH! I think of you so often :)

Cathy said...

I so remember that picture. I remember how much I loved all of your humor. Thank you keeping up the blog, I do check in often, but don't always post. Jacob Ryan Fahmer will be someone I will have to tell myself one day I never met, you allowed us to know his everyday and we are all grateful. Blessing to your entire family. I am so glad Jacob is continuing to bless many people and that you are there for them.

The VW's said...

Jacob's purpose continues! What a blessing you must be to all those other moms! God Bless You!

Randi said...

Still here- and will always be praying,