Monday, August 11, 2008

Every Moment Counts

"Trust in the Lord with all of your heart; lean not on your own understanding. In all of your ways, acknowledge Him and He will make your path straight." Proverbs 3:5,6

I sit and watch the Olympic games and my favorite sport is swimming. I understand the sport because I was a sprinter for 6 years....of course I didn't achieve the level of skill the Olympians have but I did race to achieve some state recognition. What I learned as a racer, combined with these Olympic games, combined with my gift of Jacob results in a clear point.....every moment counts....every fraction of a moment counts. When I was swimming a relay race in a state competition, the relay I was in tied our school record.....one kick just a bit harder, one stroke a little bit faster, just a fraction of a second faster and we would have broken it.....but we tied it right down to the hundredth of a second. The value of a fraction of a second is magnified with these Olympic swimmers.....all 16 competitors can be within a second but that second is divided into gold, silver and bronze winners....all within the same moment but divided by those fractions of a second. Jacob has shown me the value of a second....one second he's doing great, the next he's not breathing.....one second he's resting in my husband's arms, the next he's embraced by the One True God. The moments we spend here count....every fraction of them. What we do with them matters.

I try so hard to be a good testimony to Christ with my life and all I do....more so since Jacob's passing, I have been able to reach and touch so many people's lives. But why? I have come to realize how prideful I am. I fall into this lie that the only way to be used is to live perfectly (I have NEVER lived perfectly!) When I fall into sin, I feel that all I have done is lost. I had a long weekend of sorting through some things that I have done....sins that I have committed against my Lord....falling hard. I live as a forgiven sinner....my sins were paid for on that cross that Christ died upon...so I do not relive what I have done but I do try to learn from it and value the lessons that hide within my bad choices. When I am in sin, I am less of what God wants me to be....I am not a testimony to His love, I am not a testimony of what fulfillment a life with Christ brings, I fail to be a representative of a household that follows Christ and I fail to show the beauty of a mother shepherding her children in their walk with the Lord. I am so prideful. I have made things all about me. My perspective is so wrong.....when I fall, I think about what others will think of me and how my testimony will be effected instead of weeping for the fact that my Jesus hung and died on a cross for that sin....how dare I care what others think before I think of all the Christ has done for me. I realize that anytime someones life has been touched because of what the Lord has done though me, a sinner saved by grace, it is ONLY by His grace that I have been used in other people's lives. So why do I try to live right, make the right decisions and choices? Because I want to worship Jesus. Why do I fail miserably? Because I am human. Because I am selfish. Because if I didn't fail, others would follow me instead of Christ. So in the midst of sin, I see the cross....I embrace the cross....and I am thankful for the cross.....and I am motivated by the cross....not to earn anything, because my sin has been paid for, but to show Him that even though I have failed Him, I am thankful for all He has done for me and it is only because of Him that there is anything good that has come from my life. So what value is there to this lesson of falling into sin? Forgiveness. Thank you Jesus for using me. Thank you Father for allowing me to see that when I fall, your embrace is so much sweeter because of my recognition of my need for you. Thank you for your forgiveness even when I fail you miserably.

So what does this have to do with "every moment counts." EVERY moment counts....good or bad. God will use my life to impact others and I will embrace the moments and do my best to live for Him. But I will fail. And in the midst of my failures, I will be reminded of God's forgiveness and make every moment count and use these failures to learn more about who I am IN CHRIST. Every moment happens and what happens in that moment matters. He will make it count even when I mess it up. He will use me how He sees fit and if I make a tiny bit of difference in someone else's life, it is a miracle because I am a sinner. All that is good comes from Him.

"Trust in the Lord with all of your heart; lean not on your own understanding. In all of your ways, acknowledge Him and He will make your path straight." Proverbs 3:5,6

2 comments:

randibisme said...

Beautiful post. Brought tears to my eyes. My family (Nate and Tony, age 2 and my husband Chris) have been praying for all of you for many months now and will continue to do so.
Love,
Your sister in Christ Randi Booth

Anonymous said...

Dearest Karen, I can't help it and maybe im reading you wrong...but i just want/need to tell you that sometimes loving yourself is very hard. Please remember to love you...all of your wonderful qualities that make you Karen. So many love you honey. Please remember that you are precious. Be kind - have patience with you too.
Love A. Linda